Sunday, May 18, 2008

Have you ever allowed God to walk in and take complete control over your soul? To refine it and use it until you are ready to hear and be all that he wants to be? If you've tried this, you know how very difficult it is. It's something that I'm working through now... and giving up control is diffficult. We all want to make sure we keep a hand in our own lives, though I'm not sure why. Do we really think we can do better than someone who not only died for us, but also created us unique and special? I know without a single doubt in my head that I can't even compete with God over plans for my life... and yet it is still tough to let him have all the control.

I have complete faith that he is cleansing my soul during this "season" of my life... helping to me work through the old hurts and pains to refine me, that I may be a better woman, a better friend, and be better used to further his kingdom. What an incredible time in my life this is!!!! With that, of course, comes a lot of challenges, pain, and pushing beyond my comfort zone. I feel as though I've reached a point in my life where I'm ready for whatever he wants for me. I'm ready to deal with the pains that I have buried deep in my soul and hidden from the world. I'm ready to forgive, to let God have the pain, and for him to use it! I love to encourage people... I love to lift them up in prayers, and let them know that they are special. I can only imagine how much more effective I will be if I am encouraged myself. Holding on to the past is not a way to do this.

I have learned so much in the last year and half since my mom died. I've learned that I will continue to live (regardless of how much it hurts), that I am okay alone, and that God's promises are very real. He may have taken my mom, but he has provided (as he promised) for me. I am surrounded by amazing women who are not only great examples of what I want to be, but they are encouragers and supporters. Praise God from which all blessings flow.

If you are struggling with life right now, I ENCOURAGE you to hold tight to God's word. Search it, find what you need to hear, and recite it until it becomes physically true and real for you. God is so good. I'll end this with something that hit my heart like a newly sharpened spear today: "The harder the test God places before us, the broader the results of that test." Imagine what a good work he is doing in you.

In Him,

T

3 comments:

The Cohen's said...

I'm glad you wrote this down so that when you are down, you can look at it. You have grown a lot in the past year and a half... and you will continue to grow in your love for Christ Tee.
GBS TONS!

gdm said...

Your words are both encouraging and beautiful. The road is a long one but if you hang on to His promise you will always have a friend, good advise and more love than anyone here can give you. PS, can we share your blog Wednesday night?

Andrea said...

Hi Taria,
Thanks for your comment on our blog and for praying for my little boy. I can see from your post that you have endured suffering as well. It has been a process for us, but I feel that I have come to a place of true acceptance. Everything your wrote in your post is right on, and your ending statement about imagining the good work God has started in us brought tears to my eyes.