My brain is reeling over so many thoughts, pains, conversations. I think the biggest of the topics that puts me (and probably many of you) in bondage is pride. Many times we refuse to ask for help or love from other people. And many times we'd like to chalk it up to our "humility". But if you dig deep enough, I bet that you'll come to the conclusion that it's likely pride holding you back. I know that for me I have been rejected by one of the few people in this life that aren't supposed to reject you. I know many people have experienced this, and some on a much more hurtful level... I know I was blessed in ways that somewhat compensated this, and that it could have been worse. But because of that, there is a deeply rooted fear that I will always be rejected. If there is even slight rejection, or I misconstrue it that way, I pull back from everyone to prevent being hurt on any level. So I've found it's much easier to remain quiet, and to remain busy. I've learned that I can put up a major front in which people are none the wiser. And I've been shown that after countless times of doing all of the above, those hurts and feelings never fade away. They are very real, and remain until they are accepted, voiced, and worked through. God has opened my eyes in so many ways recently. When I think I've done well at concealing my hurts, He graciously brings me to my knees forcing me to recognize that those pains need to be laid at the foot of HIS cross... once again. So many people have hurts that we aren't aware of... isn't that sad? Think about it... the people that you know and love are likely dealing with something that you don't know about either because you're too busy to notice, or because they are good at hiding it from you. What if you reacted on the nudge that God gave you regarding that person? What if you reached out in faith, though not knowing exactly what for, and helped someone work through a hurt? What if you took the time when you're already late getting out of the house to hug someone and tell them to have a good day, that you love them? What took the time to write a note to someone and tell them they're being thought about and that they are special? We are so caught up in living, that we don't live for the moments with God and with each other. From one of my new favorite songs, "We only get one time around, one shot at this". Do you need to evaluate your aim?
I think the biggest thing that Christ laid upon my heart tonight is that He is here. He gently picked me up, set me on his lap and wrapped His arms around me. As he started rocking me slowly, He whispered in my ear, "You're gorgeous to me. And I love you so much. I want what is best for you my sweet child. Each thing that has hurt you has brought you closer to me. And I will never let you go". Praise Him... Thank Him for painful experiences that have led you to Him... that have given you an empathetic heart to touch a brother or sister, that have allowed you to have a tenderness toward someone who needs it beyond your comprehension, and those times of darkness that have put an aching desire in your heart to know our God more and more until you are completely consumed with the Holy Spirit. It's true, you know... when you are in Christ, the old is gone and the new has come... You are a NEW creation. Thank you, Jesus! I don't know about you, but I'm so happy to see the old go! :)
Tonight I lift up my dear friends and sisters, Lord. I know that so many of them are hurting. They are confused and scared as their lives take them down some familiar, and some unknown, paths. May you surround them in immeasurable peace, Sweet Jesus, that is undeniably of you. May you fill their souls with your love and recognizable guidance. May you hold each of us in their lives accountable to being less consumed with our own lives, with our hearts more focused on those around us. Break our hearts with the things that break yours! Heighten our senses so that we are aware of your presence like never before. Bring to light the things that we need to see in those around us. Show us how to love more deeply and thoroughly, Lord.
I thank you for each person you have put into my life at exact moments you have put them there. And I thank you that you have entrusted me with such special hearts to love and be loved.
May He bless each of you today~
Mother's Day 2018
13 hours ago